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Showing Results 1 - 9 (9 total)
Why Isn't Love Enough?
Author: Reuben Gross,
April 4th, 2017
Unfortunately, Love Is Not Enough Even when both partners are in love with each other when they begin their exclusive relationship, a breakdown may occur because of immaturity or sheer ignorance of one's role or responsibilities in the relationship. At other times there are specific personality deficits or traits, active or passive, that precede the relationship and are counterproductive to a healthy interaction. Since each person's attitudes and …
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An Infidelity To A Marriage Is Like An Earthquake To A House
Author: Reuben E. Gross, PhD, ABP, ABPP, LMFT
March 28th, 2017
Please note: In this article, I use the terms "marriage, spouse, relationships, and partner." All of my points are equally applicable to any couple in an exclusive relationship. Similarly, "infidelity and cheating" are used interchangeably. But Not All "Houses or Earthquakes" Are The Same Not all houses are the same

I generally tell my clients that an infidelity in a relationship is like an earthquake to a house. It can reduce …
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Assessing Each Person's Happiness in the Relationship
Author: Reuben E. Gross, PhD, ABP, ABPP, LMFT
March 21st, 2017
        This article describes the parameters of an informal assessment scale that I introduce to each spouse, when I ask them to report their level of happiness in the relationship at the time of our initial counseling appointment. In order for me to gauge the level of unhappiness, including hurt, pain, insecurity, loneliness, anger or other emotional distress and the severity of these emotions as experienced by ea …
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How To Complain Diplomatically & Argue Constructively Without Fighting Thus Achieving a Win-Win Situation
Author: Reuben Gross,
January 31st, 2017
This article addresses the issues of couples who say, "We have a communication problem, we're always fighting." The article describes how in a reasonably short time, couples can master respectful arguing which will result in successful complaint and problem-solving skills which are crucial ingredients for mutual understanding and a harmonious relationship. Note: For the sake of grammatical simplicity, I generally use "he" and "his" with the under …
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Tags: Marriage
The Hurt & Pain Of Infidelity
Author: Reuben Gross,
December 6th, 2016
Please note: In this article, I use the terms "marriage, spouse, relationships, and partner." All of my points are equally applicable to any couple in an exclusive relationship. Similarly, "infidelity and cheating" are used interchangeably. There are so many challenges, varying in the extent of their difficulty, that a couple faces during the course of their marriage. Sometimes, the couple can manage the problems by themselves, but at other times …
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The Difference Between Talking and Communicating
Author: Reuben Gross,
August 31st, 2015
Please note: Neither gender wins an Emmy for communication. If I alternate between “he” and “she” in order to be “fair” to both genders, it can be confusing to the reader. Therefore, for the sake of simplicity, I will begin with “he” when discussing the “TV speaker,” and then switch genders, using the word “she” for the remainder of the article. All of my points are relevant …
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So Easy To Get Married But So Hard To Stay Married (Happily)
Author: Reuben Gross,
June 24th, 2015
Introduction: The theme of this article is that individuals go into marriage without knowing what they are getting into. Our educational system fails to prepare our citizens as to the problems they might face in marriage, much less give them the skills to cope with them should they arise… and they do.  Is it any wonder that so many marriages fall apart? The article highlights the importance of training individuals as early as possible …
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The Hidden Agenda in Relationships
Author: Reuben Gross,
June 17th, 2015
All relationships have hidden agendas or unexpressed expectations. This axiom includes marital, familial, social, educational, business, political and virtually every other type of relationship. In a manual on marital therapy, Dr. Peter Martin presents a schematic model of the marriage contract. His analysis should be noted by married as well as non-married couples to help them understand the underlying nature of heir relationships. Martin postul …
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Happily Ever After?
Author: Reuben Gross,
May 20th, 2015
Once upon a time when one heard the phrase; “They got married and . . . ” an internal cue would prompt the words, “they lived happily ever after.” But those associations took place when we were younger and the memory of Cinderella and other fairy tales still lurked in our minds. Nowadays, many of us are more knowledgeable about the complications of marriage and our thought might be a more sophisticated “their problem …
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