Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW-R, QCSW, DCSW

December 3rd, 2018

Dear Therapist: One of our children is obsessed with death. He is 6 years old and is constantly asking questions about it. He asks us when we will die, when bubby [Grandma] and zaidy [Grandpa] will die, etc. It used to be kind of cute when he planned for our demise, but recently he has been getting much more serious about it. He has been worrying more and has been waking up with "bad dreams" in middle of the night. We try to b …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW-R, QCSW, DCSW

November 18th, 2021

Dear Therapist: Hi, I look forward to your column each week because you always have such insightful answers and opinions.
My therapist recently terminated my therapy with her. My psychiatrist as well has abruptly ended my treatment. I was not informed of the reasons as to why they stopped seeing me, and they did not give me closure either. I was wondering if this is a common thing for therapists and doctors to do. I was also wondering if I a …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW-R, QCSW, DCSW

November 18th, 2021

Dear Therapist: My primary care physician recently told my husband that he thinks he has ADHD. My husband never had that diagnosis as a child, though I am not sure that means anything because he had a lot of different issues going on as a kid and that may have slipped through the cracks...He is doing fine now but has had trouble staying on track, specifically in work related areas. The doctor would like to prescribe him medication, but my husband …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW-R, QCSW, DCSW

November 17th, 2022

Dear Therapist: I am in my 30s, and...I'm a busy mother. However, I constantly have dreams that I am in high school. The dreams are not at all disturbing, they are just filled with the day-to-day life of a high schooler (tests, lessons, etc.). This is very puzzling to me, as I am double the age I was then, and I'm at a completely different stage of life. Additionally, I always feel that I am "faking it" being an adult, and I feel overwhelmed by d …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW-R, QCSW, DCSW

November 17th, 2022

Dear Therapist: Is it possible for someone who never had ADHD to get it for the first time as an adult? I have recently started having trouble just staying focused on work as well as paying attention during...[classes]...and concentrating in...[prayer]. I have never had this issue before and was an excellent student all through yeshiva. My...[study partner]...actually recently made an offhand comment about how "ADD" I am and it really got me …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW-R, QCSW, DCSW

October 23rd, 2020

Dear Therapist: I have a question which I hope you can help me with:   I'm looking for a new therapist, one that is in-network and takes my insurance. I'm doing a ton of research, calling up therapists, clinics etc...but I keep bumping into the money issue. I just hung up with yet another therapist that didn't work out, and I'm honestly feeling helpless, hopeless and demoralized. Is this how the system is g …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW-R, QCSW, DCSW

May 11th, 2022

Dear Therapist: I struggle a lot with motivation. I have studied a lot of psychology on my own and have a good understanding of how to deal with negative emotions. I can deal with sadness and anxiety and stop them from interfering with my life but I still just don't feel energized and motivated. It is easy for people to tell me that I should "just do it" but I think that emotions are necessary for us to be driven and I just don't seem to have tha …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW-R, QCSW, DCSW

August 13th, 2020

Dear Therapist: I am a 15-year-old...[boy]...in what many consider a...[prominent high school]...I consider myself a nice person. Perhaps I am a bit shy. I am often the subject of...[sharp]...lines by the...[guys]...in...[school]...There is a...[tendency]...of everyone trying to show how...quick and smart they are, and for whatever reason I am the punching bag. Maybe cuz I’m an out of towner? I can’t usually think of a good response.. …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW-R, QCSW, DCSW

December 26th, 2019

Dear Therapist: My husband has been diagnosed with type 2 diabetes. He is also overweight and has slightly high blood pressure. He is on medication to help with these issues but his doctors keep emphasizing that he needs to eat healthily and exercise in order to really control these problems and prevent dangerous complications. I have been a dutiful wife and been preparing healthy meals for him. He eats those but will sneak unhealthy food at othe …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW-R, QCSW, DCSW

August 13th, 2020

Dear Therapist: We had been having some difficulties with our 7 year old son through the beginning of the school year. He had just been very angry and...[disrepectful]...In general he seems to have trouble expressing what is bothering him and seems to act out instead. Over the 3 months in which he was not going to school there was a noticeable change in his behavior for the better. My husband and I looked at each other one day and it hit us how w …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW-R, QCSW, DCSW

May 11th, 2022

Dear Therapist: I have a 13 year old son who has been having these anger outbursts. He has always been a pretty good kid but since his bar mitzvah has been getting really angry with his parents and siblings. He has been physical with his siblings and talks with a lot of chutzpah to his parents, especially his father. His...[teachers]...say he is doing well in school and there hasn't been much of a change in his life other than the added responsib …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW-R, QCSW, DCSW

July 18th, 2019

Dear Therapist: As everyone not living under a rock is aware, there has recently been an outbreak of measles in the frum [orthodox Jewish] community. While most of you are not medical doctors I was hoping you can help me from a psychological perspective. How can it be that something like vaccines that are considered safe and necessary by 99.9 percent of the medical community and somehow people have a cramp in their head against it? How …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW-R, QCSW, DCSW

February 7th, 2019

Dear Therapist: I have always struggled in several areas such as concentration, inability to complete projects, and too much talking. I have read articles about this and some seem to suggest that this is about anxiety while others indicate that it is ADHD related. How do I differentiate between these two possibilities?   Response: There are many symptoms that can apply to various disorders. Sometimes it can be difficult to ascertain which pr …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW-R, QCSW, DCSW

May 11th, 2022

Dear Therapist: Our 13-year-old daughter is a very sweet girl who is not the best academically but overall does well.  She is however pretty quiet in general, seems slightly anxious and seems to have trouble really expressing herself. For example she has a hard time describing the details of a story and usually will just talk in short sentences and will answer a question with a word or two. We are considering therapy for her but someone rece …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW-R, QCSW, DCSW

November 17th, 2022

Dear Therapist: There are many emotions that come up this time of year. There are some like simcha [joy], gratitude, and devekus [spirituality] that are wonderful to experience. I see from my children who are “millennials” that they are fine with that. However, they seem to be rejecting or suppressing some of the more uncomfortable emotions that can come up like anxiety, guilt, and regret. It got me thinking about …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW-R, QCSW, DCSW

July 31st, 2019

Dear Therapist: What qualifies something as an addiction? My brother plays video games all day. Does that make him an addict? My mother shops all day. Is she addicted to shopping? It seems like the word addiction gets thrown around a lot these days but when is it really a true thing and when is it just an excuse for continuing behavior that you don't want to stop? I get that cigarettes, alcohol and the like are considered addicting but are we to …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW-R, QCSW, DCSW

December 3rd, 2018

Dear Therapist: I am currently involved in a medical crisis (I was diagnosed with an illness, but we are not sure how serious it is yet). I need to get a lot of opinions from doctors and make choices regarding my treatment. I have never really been an assertive person but now I am really lost. Everyone has an opinion, I have no idea what to do and the doctors are talking over my head. It seems that if I don’t push I don’t get answered …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW-R, QCSW, DCSW

September 26th, 2019

Dear Therapist: Our 7-year-old son has always been challenging. He is a challenge behaviorally and has a difficult time getting along with his siblings and his friends. On the advice of our pediatrician, we had him evaluated and we got a diagnosis of Autism Spectrum Disorder. Now we have a name to the problem and are working on figuring out our best approach for treatment. As we are approaching...[the holidays]...and will be spending it together …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW-R, QCSW, DCSW

September 26th, 2019

Dear Therapists, My husband keeps on making bad investments and losing money. He borrows money to try and invest and now he has lost other people’s money. He is totally out of touch with reality vis-à-vis his business ability...[and he won't]...work for someone else or get a regular job. I am at my wits’ end. Please suggest how to talk some sense into him.   Response: I’m sorry that you’re in the position in wh …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW-R, QCSW, DCSW

November 17th, 2022

Dear Therapist: We recently went through a terrible experience with a licensed therapist that a family member used. It was not a subjective mismatch; the clinician lacked professionalism and training, and other professionals and...[rabbis]...involved in the situation were distraught to hear about the techniques he used and the ensuing damage it created. We have switched clinicians and are now going through the process of undoing and re-learning, …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW-R, QCSW, DCSW

June 16th, 2022

Dear Therapist: ​ Our 9-year-old daughter was recently diagnosed with juvenile diabetes. This has been very difficult adjustment for her and she is having a very hard time sticking to the diet and medication regimen that she has been prescribed. She also has been complaining a lot of the unfairness of it all. We have a large family and this has also caused some friction between her and her siblings and we are struggling to maintain the balance …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW-R, QCSW, DCSW

February 7th, 2019

Dear Therapist: I often experience what seem like dramatic mood changes. One day I'll wake up with loads of energy ready to take on the world and the next I will sit in bed trying to convince myself to get out of bed. I am sometimes full of joy and optimism and other times just retreat into myself. My friends joke that I am "bipolar." I asked my doctor about it and his response was something to the effect of, "We all have our ups and downs" and t …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW-R, QCSW, DCSW

December 26th, 2019

Dear Therapist: ...I recently became engaged to a wonderful man! I have two great teenage boys from a previous marriage that ended in divorce. Their father has no custody or visitation and is not involved in their lives. As we prepare for marriage, we have been getting a lot of advice from well-meaning friends and rabbis about how important it is for my future husband and me to spend “alone time” together after we get married in order …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW-R, QCSW, DCSW

August 13th, 2020

Dear Therapist: I have been estranged from my brother for 8 years. This happened as a result of a financial issue where I felt he had cheated me. I got some bad advice at the time regarding how I should deal with it and that led to all the issues. There were mistakes made on both sides and we have been locked in...Recently when I was sick I accepted on myself to try and repair the relationship. Problem is I don’t know where to start. Every …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW-R, QCSW, DCSW

May 14th, 2013

I don't believe that anyone can reach the peak of true self-esteem. We all view ourselves externally at least to some extent. The goal is to reduce externally based feelings about ourselves and to increase those intrinsically based. Some people will focus on building self-esteem so as to reduce or eliminate depressive or anxious feelings. Others can continually work toward an increasingly better sense of self. The great irony of self-esteem is th …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW-R, QCSW, DCSW

March 24th, 2021

Dear Therapist: Overall, my husband and I—married for ten years with five wonderful children—have [a] beautiful...[relationship]. We have a loving relationship and bring harmony and happiness into our home on a day-to-day basis. The problem is when we have something to work through. When I do something or say something that upsets my husband he totally shuts down and becomes handicapped at communicating. He is not overall an emot …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW-R, QCSW, DCSW

November 18th, 2021

Dear Therapist: I am a teenaged girl, popular, with a lot of personality, if I do say so myself. I’m the kind of girl who is the life of the party, and enjoys making the fun for the group, trying to make sure all are included at the same time. I applied for a staff position at a camp that is very excited to have me but got stuck on the application itself. I have a mild case of anxiety and am prescribed Zoloft. (They asked for addi …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW-R, QCSW, DCSW

November 17th, 2022

Dear Therapist: Our 12-year-old was referred to therapy by her school for some behavioral and social issues. Nothing too severe but the school thought it would be beneficial for her to gain some skills before going into next year. After a while we finally got into the therapist we were suggested but now we are coming up on camp season. She and her friends are all supposed to go to camp for a big part of the summer but that would mean either delay …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW-R, QCSW, DCSW

August 13th, 2020

Dear Therapist: I have a younger sister (age 24) who I care about very much. She had a rough childhood as far as being picked on in school and since she is a nonconformist got in a lot of trouble. Her relationship with my parents has also been very up and down with a lot of negativity and hurt feelings. She has a small part-time job that she gets no satisfaction from. To me she is clearly depressed and she admits as much. She is very smart and no …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW-R, QCSW, DCSW

March 15th, 2022

Dear Therapist: Our 21-year-old son has been struggling for a while and would like to begin therapy. He is pretty insistent that he wants to only see a non-frum [religious] or not Jewish therapist. It is hard to get a straight answer from him as to why he is so insistent on this. It's a shame that he is so adamant about this at a time when there are so many qualified therapists that are...[religious]. Being that he is 21 he can pretty much g …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW-R, QCSW, DCSW

August 13th, 2020

Dear Therapist: I’m wondering if therapy can help a person who is in a difficult situation that can’t be changed. I understand if someone is depressed with life therapy can help them feel better but if someone is dealing with a reality that is bad is there a point of going to therapy? I understand the question is broad but I would prefer not to go into my own personal details. Either way there are many such examples, financial, famili …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW-R, QCSW, DCSW

May 11th, 2022

Dear Therapist: People have told me in the past that I need to go to therapy. However, I am an extremely practical and logic-based person and I am skeptical that therapy actually helps people. If I had statistics that 70/80% of people had significant improvement through therapy that would make me much more likely to spend the money. As of now I am not convinced. Does the panel agree that until proven otherwise my position is the correct one in th …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW-R, QCSW, DCSW

June 25th, 2018

Dear Therapist: Thank you so much for your insightful column each week. I gain a tremendous amount from your suggestions and advice. I am hoping that you can guide us. We...have a wonderful almost 10-year-old son; he is a fantastic kid, smart, conscientious, studious, well-behaved, bright...The problem is that he likes to eat and has been steadily gaining since 5 years old. First it was 10 pounds, then 20, and now more each passing year. At almos …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW-R, QCSW, DCSW

May 19th, 2021

Dear Therapist: About a year ago, our 9-year-old daughter started to engage in compulsive rituals.  She would have 1 specific ritual (such as checking that her heart was still beating) for a few weeks and then switch to a different ritual.  Right now, her specific ritual is sniffing is an unusual way.  This was/is not interfering with her performance at school or home, and she seemed happy overall, but we decided to take her to a p …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW-R, QCSW, DCSW

May 16th, 2019

Dear Therapist: Today I am a married woman with a family and have friends...but as a child, I didn’t have any friends. When I was with classmates and when I would try to interject with a comment my comment would go unnoticed. I only made friends after I finished school and started working. When I bump into people I knew as a child, such as classmates, I become terrified and start to shake and the unbearable pain that lays deep down inside m …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW-R, QCSW, DCSW

March 1st, 2021

Dear Therapist: I'm looking for some direction about something that I've been thinking about for a while. Maybe you can help. Often, I struggle with thoughts and feelings that make it hard for me to get through my day and I think I have felt like this since I was a teen. Feeling this way has affected my relationships at work, with my kids and my siblings. My current state has even put pressure on my relationship with my husband. It&rsqu …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW-R, QCSW, DCSW

March 24th, 2021

Dear Therapist: I'm looking for some direction about something that I've been thinking about for a while. Maybe you can help. Often, I struggle with thoughts and feelings that make it hard for me to get through my day and I think I have felt like this since I was a teen. Feeling this way has affected my relationships at work, with my kids and my siblings. My current state has even put pressure on my relationship with my husband. It&rsqu …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW-R, QCSW, DCSW

October 23rd, 2020

Dear Therapist: As a 3rd grade rebbe [Hebrew teacher] sometimes I have children in my class who have lost a parent...I wonder if in such cases I should avoid using the word totty [daddy] or mommy during class to avoid hurting the child. Is this something that is helpful or perhaps avoiding it is just something that is not realistic and unfortunately it is something they will live with all their lives?    Respons …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW-R, QCSW, DCSW

January 19th, 2023

Dear Therapist: We live in a small neighborhood where everyone knows each other and gets along very well. Recently two families that we know and are friendly with became embroiled in a serious...[argument]...with each other. I do not think the specific details are necessary to share and I want to protect confidentiality...It is hard to figure out what is actually even the truth because so many allegations are being thrown back and forth. It has b …
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Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW-R, QCSW, DCSW

March 27th, 2019

Dear Therapist: I am a 19-year-old boy...When I introduce myself to new people I turn red in the face. This is something that I feel I can't control as much as I prep myself before. This is extremely embarrassing. Can you please explain why this happens and how I can deal with it?   Response: I well understand your concern. It’s humiliating to be overtly embarrassed. It’s one thing to feel a little uncomfortable; it’s quite …
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